What Happened

Jane stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

She hated him. Every single thing about him. The eyes that stared at her. The ridiculous blond hair that fell to the eyes that stared at her. The crooked smile. The sound of his voice. The way he laughed. The way he acted. The words he used.

How much longer would she have to deal with this?

She sat in the hallway and buried her face in her hands.

“What am I even doing?” she asked herself.

“What happened?”

Oh, great. She didn’t even have to look up to immediately recognize that voice. He ran after her. Of course he ran after her! When she lifted her head, all she saw was his stupid  face right above her.

“Nothing,” she mumbled. Now go away, she added in her mind.

Instead, he took a seat next to her. How marvellous.

Just a few inches separated them from one another and she absolutely hated the reaction it caused in her.

She mentally kicked herself for even caring about it.

She hated him so much.

But sometimes… he made it nearly impossible for her to hate him. There was something about this guy that made her want to run and yet the very same thing about him kept dragging her back to him every single time.

Sometimes she wished she’d never known him. Why couldn’t she just forget it? Erase him from her mind. Forget his eyes and the way they sent electricity to every single part of her body whenever they met her awkward gaze. Forget the ridiculous hair that curled behind his ear and made her want to run her fingers through it. Forget the voice that always spoke all the right words. Forget the sound of his laughter that made her want to laugh with him. Forget the smile that had the power to brighten up the darkest day. Forget the way he was so different from everybody else she had ever met.

On days like these, she didn’t know whether she was supposed to hate him or adore him.

It didn’t have to be this hard, but that’s what she did. Jane wouldn’t be herself if she didn’t make things far too complicated than they really were.

While all she secretly wanted was to let him in, she kept pushing him away. And the further she pushed him, the more he tried.

Though she would never admit it out loud, he impressed her. He didn’t even have to try. He just had it within him. The thing.

The thing that made her wonder, who the hell was this guy? Usually, people were easy to read. They were like an open book and a careful reader like her could easily figure out their story. Or at least a part of it. But with him, it was different. He wasn’t anything like other people.

And it scared her. The way she felt about him scared her even more.

She spent two hundred ninety-eight days trying to figure it out and all she discovered was that maybe—just maybe—she didn’t hate him that much.

So she spent two hundred ninety-eight days trying to deny it.

“Jane?” She almost jumped at the sound of his voice saying her name.

She fought the urge to look at him. She couldn’t allow herself to look at him. If she did, she might not be able to keep this up any longer. The whole ‘hating’ thing.

Because to tell you the truth, she didn’t hate him. Not at all. Not even the tiniest bit.

And she hated herself for that.

“Please, just look at me.”

Go away, go away, go away.

She could feel his stare on her. She knew she wasn’t getting rid of him this time.

She turned her head to him and looked him in the eyes.

“Tell me, what happened?” he asked softly.

She sighed, giving up. “You happened.”

——

I finally pushed myself to write something for Inspiration Monday again. Let me know what you think!

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. Stephanie says:

    I loved this. Her fear, his persistence. The gradual shift to being honest with herself. Great work.

    1. mrsreckless says:

      Thank you, Stephanie!

  2. Inspired is right. This is raw emotion and a wonderful attempt to help us understand that emotion in someone else.
    Just shows that what you see is not always what is going on inside.
    Scott

  3. Pink Woods says:

    I love this. Makes me want to be Jane! 🙂

  4. This is a wonderful piece of writing. I really got a feel for your character, like I was nestled right in her head. Really good work!

    1. mrsreckless says:

      Thank you so much!!

  5. oscarjamieson says:

    Great piece; you show the mental back-and-forth inside her mind incredibly vividly. Well done!

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