Leave

The alarm goes off at 6:30. I turn in my bed and moan into the pillow.

Ignore that alarm, says the voice in my head. You can stay in bed.

No, I can’t. I sit up and force my eyes open. I tap my phone to make it shut up, then glance over the room to find my suitcase waiting at the door.

It’s today.

I get up with the familiar feeling in my gut. The feeling that always visits me whenever I have to leave.

You don’t have to leave, reminds me the voice.

Oh yes, I do.

See, if I never forced myself to leave, I’d spend the rest of my life stuck inside a comfort zone that wasn’t even so comfortable anymore.

The air here, it’s just not enough to fill my lungs. I wish for something bigger. Better. Brighter.

“This should be enough,” people always tell me, pointing to my home, my family, my perfect job. As if they know anything about my needs.

“I’m done settling for enough,” I say to them, “when I know that there is so much more.”

I used to think it was a sin to ask for more. I used to think it was my duty to keep my head down and accept whatever landed at my feet. But my feet were not meant to step on this plain, boring ground. They were made to wander and every day spent on the predictable paved road makes them itch even more for the unknown wild path.

That’s why I ignore the rational voice and choose to listen to the part of me that’s a little reckless. I grab my suitcase and I’m out the door, not giving myself any time to rethink my decision or change my mind.

I make myself leave—against everyone’s advice and against the fear that’s stopped me way too many times—and I know I’ll thank myself later.


Does that ever happen to you guys? Do you ever get those weird feelings before leaving somewhere?
I always dream of travelling and get really excited whenever I book a trip, but then the day comes and I suddenly start having doubts…
But I leave myself no choice. The desire to go to new places always wins in the end.
Which is why this exact time next week I’m going to be on a night bus, taking a 10+ hour journey to Budapest. Hopefully I’ll manage to make the most of the 1,5 days I get to spend there!
Anyway, that’s all from me for today. Thank you for reading, feel free to share your thoughts and I’ll see you in the next post!
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7 thoughts on “Leave

  1. Your blog makes me want to start writing again. Cool idea and name. 🙂

    But to the point – I liked this post a lot since it pretty much describes my week. I up and suddenly moved on my own to a new city 7 hours from my family. It’s a scary adventure, but I left myself no choice and I did it. Now I’m aching for my comfort zone but still enjoying every second of flying by the seat of my pants.

    It is definitely a feeling in your gut that hits you. Nice choice of words.

    1. Thank you so much! Same thing’s about to happen to me – I’m moving to a new city far away from home soon to start university – and I’m both scared and excited. Good luck on your adventure! Maybe it’ll inspire you to get back to writing 🙂

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