I lie flat on my bed, eyes focused on the pale ceiling. Another night when sleep doesn’t pay me a visit. Everything is still and silent, but there’s nothing sedate about it.
Silence–the most powerful scream–haunts me in the dark, echoes in my room, rings in my ears. Silence–the righteous judge–sentences me to never ending torture.
Every breath makes me remember and remembering hurts. The most painful are the memories of the good times. The ones I long to bring back and relive again and again, keep them alive at any cost. But my desperation is pathetic. I can’t prevent the images from fading and becoming less and less clear, until there’s nothing left but shreds, pieces of something that used to be whole.
Thoughts fly through my head at the speed of light. I don’t try to stop them. I don’t try to avert the unavoidable. Tonight I let the silence win.
I let it consume me.