Insecurity System

“You’ve got some very solid walls built here. Look how thick they are. Soundproofed, obviously.” An enthusiastic nod of appreciation. “Oh, and check out this door! The newest generation locks you’ve got installed here? No way to break into this fortress of yours now! Plus, with the twenty-four-hour monitoring, it is guaranteed you are a hundred percent safe. Two hundred, even!”

“Thank you,” I shrug.

This should be a relief. It would be me in my own fortress, disturbed by nothing and no one.

And yet.

The whole security system, if anything, only makes me more insecure.

The walls built to keep me safe just keep me trapped. The specially designed fortress won’t let anyone in but, more importantly, it won’t let me out either. Stuck in this hermetic world of mine, I wonder what I could be missing. Peeking through the armoured glass window of mine, scary as it seems, I’m curious what it feels like to be thrown into the whirlwind of risks.

“The world is full of things and people that will go out of their ways to harm you,” my father often said. “You’d better build those walls high and strong.”

What he could never understand was that, instead of shielding me from the hazards of the outside world, he should have protected me from myself.

What would he say if he knew the one thing I ever pray for is for someone to come and tear the damn walls down?


I’m never trusting Evernote again! I had the whole draft for this post prepared and waiting for final touch-ups, but the evil thing somehow synchronised with an earlier version I had stored on my phone and I wasn’t able to get it back. (I thought my notes were safe with you, Evernote! Talk about insecurity systems!) As a result, this might not be as good as it originally was supposed to be, but on a brighter note, you’ll never know!
Inspired by this week’s Inspiration Monday prompt.

 

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Cynthia Go says:

    That last paragraph, just tugs on my heart. 😭

    1. mrsreckless says:

      Thank you for reading!

  2. John Yeo says:

    I liked the way the story unfolded many strands of doubt and anxiety.☮

    1. mrsreckless says:

      Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

  3. Stephanie says:

    Nice! Thought-provoking. Reminds me of Pink Floyd’s The Wall.

    Too bad about Evernote! I save a lot of things there, but most of my writing drafts are in MS Word and I use Carbonite to automatically back up those files. I’ve never lost anything through them *knock on wood.*

  4. Julia says:

    Thanks for your honesty. I’m reading people’s blogs about insecurity because I ponder the same thing and wrote about it. https://unbreakablejoy.wordpress.com/?s=so+insecure Your honesty touched me. Thanks.

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