Meet Kate, the Upgraded Version

“Happy 20th,” I wrote in my journal on February 11th. It was the first entry in months. “You no longer need journals filled with sad crap to make yourself feel okay.”

And it is true. I had some spare time during the break after my exams, so I rummaged through my old stuff back at home and had a look at the things I wrote about six years ago… and jeez, I really did love to cling to the negativity.

But I do not connect with that anymore.

So, in the latest journal entry, I compiled a list of 10 things I would say to the teenage me if I could go back in time and talk to her:

  1. it is okay to feel the way you feel
  2. you do not need to seek anyone’s approval to be who you are and to like what you like
  3. your parents are right 90% of the time
  4. there is no need to be scared because things WILL work out
  5. everything you’re experiencing is gonna be an important factor in shaping your personality
  6. school is not a friend-manufacturing place
  7. you should trust your intuition a little bit more
  8. it is okay to focus on your feelings and emotions and be a little selfish from time to time
  9. you have to learn to be patient – good things and good people WILL come around (probably when you’re least expecting them)
  10. and last but not least, I am damn proud of you

Truth is, I dreaded this birthday. But now I think I like being 20.

Look at my life. It’s surreal. It’s everything I used to wish for while blowing out the candles on my previous birthday cakes.

I have people I am proud to call my best friends. I moved out of my freaking hometown that I felt was suffocating me for so many years and I’m more than okay. I like the decisions I’ve made. I like what I’m studying. I no longer perceive myself as someone who’s somehow worse than everyone else, as someone lacking something that everyone else seems to have.

Today, I am finally good enough for me. And maybe it’s going to sound too proud, but I’m pleased with who I’ve turned into. I feel like my life is on the right track. It’s going somewhere.

I’m excited to discover where that somewhere is.


PS. This was more on the personal side, the very first of this kind of posts here. But I’ve been doing some fiction writing recently, too! Proper posts coming up next!
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Whatever.

This is not a proper post. It’s only an introduction… or something of that kind.

Hi.

It’s me again.

And I can’t make myself stay away from blogging anymore.

Why would I want to do that in the first place?

Well. I’ve been so stressed out about not being able to deliver quality posts to you that I’ve stopped posting completely.

But how ridiculous is it to try to stop myself from writing when I’m so desperate to do that?

So, I’m allowing myself to write garbage now.

The hiatus is over. I don’t know where exactly I see this blog going, but I definitely see it going somewhere.

So I’m back. I guess.

Or maybe it’s my lack of sleep that’s making me promise things I’m later going to forget about.

Or maybe I’m just feeling lonely and need to throw my words out there so maybe they can reach someone.

Anyone.

Personal Update: University & Big City Life

Hello my dear Readers (if I still have any),

this is to quickly inform you that yes, I’m still alive and no, I have not abandoned this  blog, even though I have been absent for almost a month.

The past few weeks have been insane. After I returned from the Netherlands in mid-September, I was extremely busy with moving out and settling in my new place. And then, with the beginning of October, from my carefree teenage life, I basically jumped straight into adulthood. Which was a bit of a shock.

The funniest thing is, when I was starting high school three years ago, I was completely paralysed with fear. So accordingly, I expected my going to University to be a freaking disaster.

Well? To my surprise, everything is absolutely fine. After my third week, I can honestly say that I chose my studies well. I would be miserable studying anything other than English.

And I totally love how University is so much different from high school. Somehow, people are more mature there. I guess everyone is more aware of what they’re there for.

I’m also impressed with how seamlessly–having been a small town girl my entire life–I adapted to living in a big city. I found my way around easily and I think I can honestly say I like it there. I really do. I like the sense of anonymity offered by a big city. I like the fact that I don’t have to worry about who I might meet every time I leave home. I like the fact that I can go out and just disappear in the crowd… Is that weird?

So yeah. Uni? No big deal. Living in a big city? Piece of cake.

Then what on earth is the damn feeling I cannot shake? Is it homesickness? Being at the other end of the country? But I’ve been visiting home every weekend. Is it the missing? But I’ve been keeping in touch with my family 24/7. Is it loneliness? But I’m among people every single day and I’ve got awesome friends that don’t let me feel lonely. Is it that no one’s waiting for me when I come back to my flat after I’ve finished classes? But I’ve always liked being alone. So what the hell is it?

Maybe it’s the responsibility that overwhelms me. The fact that I am the one who takes care of me now. That I have to make sure that the fridge is not empty, do the laundry in order to have clothes to put on, keep the flat clean, try not to burn the entire block down when I cook dinner…

It is a whole new thing for me, but I know I will get used to it. I have so much more confidence in me than I had, let’s say, those three years ago.

And when I finally get used to it and get more ogranized, then hopefully I’ll find the time to put some words together and write something decent enough for you to enjoy.

And that would be all for now.

Thank you for reading & I hope you’re still there whenever I’m ready to post a new piece.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Kate.

Personal update: guess who’s back!

Hello to anyone reading this!

It’s been a LOOOONG while. Something around two years, I believe?

I have so much to tell you, I don’t even know where to begin. A lot has happened since I went MIA. I graduated from high school a month ago, I’m now done with all my exams and I’m facing choices that will most likely impact my entire life… not stressful at all! I wish someone could just decide for me.

A brand new chapter is about to begin and it both excites and scares me to death. Obviously, I do have plans for the future and a general idea as to what I want to do with my life next. Wherever my journey takes me, I hope that writing will always be a part of it.

On the bright note, I have four months of freedom ahead of me – the longest, well deserved holidays of my life. Which means I’ll have loads of time to finally do the things I was too busy to do during school time. This includes bringing my blog back to life!

I’ve missed posting my writing here and reading everyone else’s stuff and I’m excited to finally be back! I can’t wait to start it up again.

So… I think that’s all for now.

I hope everyone’s having a nice Thursday.
See you soon!

A little personal update.

Hello there!

I usually don’t post personal things here, but I feel like breaking that rule this one time.

I’ve been away for quite a long time (sorry! Hopefully that won’t happen again!). A lot is new in my life and I’ve been kind of busy. New school, new house… and some other stuff. Of course, I haven’t parted with my notebook and pen and I’ve been writing this whole time—making up stories in my head and complicating my characters’ lives. And I have to admit, I’ve missed posting on WordPress and reading other people’s stuff quite a lot. So I guess it’s about time I came back 🙂

And here I am—with brand new inspiration and some fresh ideas. You can look forward to reading some of my new stuff as soon as I get to rewrite those chaotic lines from my beloved paper notebook and type it up for you here. Shouldn’t be long ’cause I’m really excited to start again.

And for now, that’s it. I hope you didn’t miss me too much (haha). See you all soon.

PS. Happy Easter, everyone!

My very first post.

Hello there.

I created this blog to share my stories with anybody who wants to read them. It’s a new thing for me, because all the other blogs I own are a lot more personal. But I guess now it’s time for some fiction.

And… I don’t really know what else could be included in the first post. If anybody wonders, yes, I am a You Me At Six fan and that’s the reason behind the choice of the blog’s name.

If you want to know more about me, check the section About.

So… that’s it. Let’s get this adventure with WordPress started!

xo