How Can You Feel So Sad

How can you feel so sad when you’ve got the stars and the moon and the clouds all looking down? Am I the only one or does the moon also get lonely from time to time? You’d ask, how can you feel so lonely when you’ve got all the cars that move past your window with all that noise of all the people with all their stories,…

I Ran Away Today

I ran away today. Rented a bike and went. My legs were crying for rest, but I pedalled on, moving past the discomfort, melting into the green around me as the blue changed its hue above my head. I moved as if in a trance, my eyes hungry – I hope that they never stop…

Amble

One step at a time – time measured in heartbeats. Slow and steady harmony, every movement guided by the breath. In and out. Tense, relax. One foot after the other, placed thoughtfully, not rushed. Noticing the sounds, the smells, the sights; the crickets singing in the dark; the black matter alive, sharing this night with me….

Routines, To-Do Lists and Goals

“I got myself yet another notebook,” I say, then quickly glance up to scan your face. I hope this makes you proud. “I’ve been doing my homework. I’ve kept my word and sat down to write five days in a row.” “Good for you.” No fireworks, standing ovation, champagne. “I’m doing really well. I sleep better, practise yoga every day…” “That’s great.” Was that a yawn?…

Gate

The gate to my creativity has been shut long ago. Schools taught me to stick to patterns, to think in a certain way, not to be – heaven forbid – too original. For some time I cultivated creativity on my own, in the safety of my four walls, closed off from the world and the teachers…

Long Night Drives

Don’t you love the long night drives when you have nothing to do but stare out the window and share your thoughts with the stars, lose yourself in the faraway made up worlds, your visions stirred only by the sounds of the engine and soft music in your headphones? The houses on the side of…

Scent

At times like these, I open the window and stick my head out just to make sure the cold still sends shivers down my spine if I can still feel the cold, I can’t be completely numb eyes closed, I inhale the air and realise it hurts because, at times like these, I really miss…

Specific

I always write with a specific you in mind. I picture your eyes on me, watching my frustrated fingers punch those words. After each line I pause and seek your silent approval. Sometimes I wish you were easier to please. Then I could write with such ease… Somehow my mind always circles back to you—you…

One of Those Nights

It’s one of those times when I’m so tempted to get up in the middle of the night and leave this bed that I don’t sleep in anyway and step outside into the open space and start walking and pick up speed until I’m running with hair sticking to my face and the tears mingle…

The Silence

Oh so many times I promised I would stop, yet here I am, still waiting for the silence to touch my cold hand. I haven’t written a word for days and it’s killing the creatures inside, once so eager to come out and breathe on their own. They’re weak now and I wish they’d leave…

Tea Time #3

If we were having tea, I’d tell you how desperate I am to feel like myself again and you’d say that instead of trying to find the old feelings, I should rather embrace the ones I have now. Then I’d ask, “But what are they? How do I name the things I feel?” I don’t…

Tea Time #2

If we were having tea, I’d tell you how I haven’t written a word in weeks and you’d call me a liar because, truth is, I have thrown some random thought here and there just for the sake of keeping me alive, but they’re not quality thoughts. See, I put so much pressure on me…