I Never Promised Things Would Make Sense Here, So What Did You Expect?

I don’t know where my voice is,
but I need it to scream.

There’s gotta be a way,
but my words disobey
and my head starts to spin,

and the dark thoughts,
they grin.

Somewhere,
in the corners of my mind,
at the borders of my soul–

Oh.

The cereal in my bowl
has gone cold.
I think I’m getting old.

Well, aren’t we all
Heading towards a fall
of some kind?

So how do I find
that voice?

You keep saying it’s a choice
to live in silence.

Meanwhile, all this violence
calls for something louder
and I’d try harder,

but what’s the point of losing sleep
and wasting time to weep
over things I can’t change?

There’s so much rage
in me… See?

I could rage about the rage
for the sake of filling the page,

but silence can’t fill pages
and it’ll be ages
until I cease–

Stop with the excuses now.
Maybe I’ll sleep in peace.
For once.

 

 

 

 

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Ghosts

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Photo by Aidan Meyer on Unsplash

I remember last night
you touched my hair
and I tried to lie still
pretend to be asleep

I would not stir
for the fear that
you might disappear
the moment wouldn’t last

the next day
the air is sharp
we are best friends
walking side by side

we don’t talk
but my head is loud
you know my words
before I make a sound

I can never quite read you
should have listened to the voice
telling me not to get close
but now it’s too late

I’m scared to leave
for the fear that
you might not be here
when I come back

I wish I could get in your head
and paint over your thoughts
on the outside you laugh
your inside is full of ghosts

for you

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Photo by Kendall Lane on Unsplash

how do I find the words
to paint you a new world
when yours runs out of colour

for you I bend my brain
in search of things to say
that could guide you by the hand

words that might shed some light
maybe make you want to stay
here in this atmosphere

and not run away to another universe
where I no longer get to see your face
or feel the sunshine

once mine

I wish there were words to say
to stop the rain
to make your sun shine again

maybe

I could turn myself into something
better bigger bolder brighter

synchronise my words with thunder

give you something real
strike your heart with light
show you how to fight

make you feel

maybe I could be the wind
to push your clouds aside

maybe I could be the tide
to swallow up your ache

I wish the words were all it’d take

to win

sometimes at night I still dream
that this could be enough

and the world could be enough

and I could be enough

Shine

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How do I shine
you’ve stolen all the light

I’m not a star
you’re no longer my sky


Since writing one page a day turned out to be too overwhelming and I eventually gave up, this year I promised myself I would write at least one sentence. One sentence every day, surely I can do that? So I figured I could do the same for my blog. It’s not like anyone’s forcing me to hit a specific word count on every post. Short posts are fine too. Everything’s fine as long as I’m doing something and not making excuses not to write.
Enjoy your day/afternoon/evening.

Gone #2

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I woke up gone from the present
and present in the past

you disappeared so fast
but a part of me still lingers
on the shelf above your bed

I woke up gone from my head
but still
when I left
a part of me stayed against my own will

I woke up with you gone from my future
and I’m fine
I don’t allow myself to miss you
most of the time

I woke up gone
detached from myself
I’m somewhere else
with someone else’s thoughts

I woke up gone
and yet still somewhere
life continues
with us gone from each other


I was reading my old post titled Gone and then (coincidence?) today’s prompt came up and, as a result, this nonsense wrote itself. Enjoy.
PS. I hope you had a happy entrance into the new year!

Leaves

A photo by Autumn Mott. unsplash.com/photos/SPd9CSoWCkY

Sometimes I sit and stare at the falling leaves, pretend they give me inspiration while all I can really think about is how you built me a home in your arms and how I turned you down, chose the homeless life and called it an independent path.

But my feet are always cold and autumn takes me by surprise; the leaves keep falling and I wonder if this

is

how

you

fell

for

me,

while I didn’t even stumble.